chaim potorovsky and the lamdans stone
by punkreader92
Summary: a story that fuses harry potter with a boy in the jewish world


Riiing! Riiing! It was the sound of his alarm clock that awoke young chaim Poterovsky in the cupboard under the stairs at 6 A.M. on that sunny Tammuz 13th morning. Hershie got up, stretched, said Modeh Ani, and finally shut off his alarm clock. He scratched his head to remember why he had set his alarm clock to 6 A.M.

he had a dream,it was about a pair of flying tifilen and him chasing it on a broomstick

before he knew it there was a loud bang on his door and the shreak of aunt fruma

**"ARE YOU DRESSED YET?"**

angirily chaim responded "yes"

" yes what?"

"yes aunt fruma"

then get downstairs ang get the kugel readdy i want everything to be amazing for chanina's birthday

of course chanina's birthday how could chaim have forgoten

he had lived with the half minded twit for what 11 years now which had been the most miserable years of his life with the mayer family a selfish greedy family who thought of him as a slave first there was uncle eliezer(mayer) a fat ,fat,fat ugly man who was the owner of a mikvah there fore very gay (and i dont mean happy) then there was chanina (mayer) chaim's cousin also fat,anoying twit and being so tuiped he didint know how to put 1 and 1 together let alone separate them liked nothing better to do then play on his computer have eating contests u know with who himself playing his x-box and most of all beating chaim and then there was aunt fruma who, though being vicious like the rest of the mayers, was the only mayer who was not obese - on the contrary, she was as thin as a tallit. She was the nosiest person in the world and spent her whole day spying on the boring, law-abiding neighbors. She was chaims aunt and the only surviving member of his family

.Sometimes, people dressed in funny clothes said "vus machts tsu, chaim" to him when he was outside with Aunt Peninah. Every time this happened, Aunt frum would shove chaim along, muttering "dumb chassidim."

chaim had a star of david shaped scar on his farhead When he had asked Aunt fruma how he had gotten it, she had snapped, "by 9/11 when your parents died. And don't ask questions." Well, that was how life was going to be. chaim got up and went downstairs just in time to see chaina counting his presents which were virtually drowning him.

"102," 103 he said. "That's 5 less than last year."

but you still havent counted thid one from under all those small ones listed from aba and ima chanina started digging and found it he pulled out this big box and opened it and said "thats all a pair of goodnick chumashim hmph you guys auto be ashamed of yourselves"

After he opened the presents they drove to the Jewish Children's Museum. chaim came along, but only because Aunt naome said she broke her leg and couldn't take him. The instant they arrived,chanina jumped out of the _Mitzvah Tank_ and headed for _Mendy's_. Knowing and frightened about what was going to happen, UncleVelvel (who was naome's husband) ran to take him away from the restaurant. But alas, he had come too late. Before he got halfway there, the owner of the restaurant had filed for bankruptcy, chanina had put on 99.9999 pounds, and one of the walls had been completely chomped through. A sobbing chanina ran to his mother crying, "I-Ima, tell them to come here and give me more cholent."

"you little (big ) boy you surley dont need anymore blubber" chaim"

Everyone turned around to see a freakishly huge man dressed in a Talit who introduced himself as "rabbi michal harari." This pumped man being now went over to chaim with a scarlet envelope in his hand.

"It's time you got your letter, chaim," he said. chaim reached out to take it, but before he could do so, the envelope flew into his hand.

"How did that happen?" he asked michal.

"Chassidus," replied michal"chasidus.

"Go on, open it."

chaim did so, and as he read the letter his face brightened for the first time in his life.

_**Dear chaim Poterovsky, **_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at United Lubavitcher Yeshiva's School of Gemara and Chassidus. **_

**_You will need the following items:_ **

_**1 Artscroll Gemara, Mesechta "Babba Kamma," Perek "Hashoel Es Haparah," **_

_**1 Gutnick Edition Chumash, all 5 books, **_

**_1 Moshiach flag,_ **

_**1 Baalabos cauldron, **_

**_1 pet of your choice (a chicken or a fish or a goose),_ **

**_You will board the U.L.Y. Express from 770, at Platform Teisha U'Shloshet-Reevai on the 1st day of Cheshvan, 5766._ **

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Miriam Morosov. **_

chaim looked up, his head spinning. "What's Chassidus?" he thought.

michal took a deep breath, and then spoke.

"Well, chaim, it's a long story. I best start from the beginning."

Not all Chassidim are good, you know. Many are bad. There was one Chassid that went very bad - as bad as you can go.

"What was his name?" asked chaim.

"His name was ... His name was ... well, alright. His name was k-mart. (lol very origanal?) And don' make me say it again."

Well, this Chassid just got worse and worse. He spent a few years gathering followers. Then he started to kill people. He got so powerful that no one could stop him. No one, until you came, chaim."

Nobody knows why, but one night, he went after you, chaim. Your parents went before you. They were the best Chassidim I'd ever known, adam and Chava Poterovsky."

"You told me my parents died by 9/11!" chaim cried.

"By 9/11? That's an outrage, a _chutzpa!_ " roared michal.

"We swore we'd squash the Chassidus out of him! We will have no more of this nonsense," cried Uncle eliezer, trying to outshout michal, but truly frightened.

"We'll see who's gonna be squashed!" roared michal, whipping a moshiach flag out of his pocket. "**_GAIN COKENO!_**"

Uncle eliezer scrambled back, but it was too late. A jet of Hebrew letters shot out of michal's flag and hit Uncle Eliezer in the butt. A second later,eliezer Dashevsky had transformed into a full grown African elephant.

chaim told michal not really a big change huh

"Help! Change him back!" squealed fruma and chanina at the same time.

"No matter, it's just that he looks so much prettier with a trunk," said michal. And with a wave of his flag, he changed Uncle eliezer mayer back to his own selfish, ugly, fat self. He backed twenty feet away from michal and then fainted.

"That's better," said michal. "As I was saying, one night he went after you, chaim. For some reason, he couldn't touch you. That was the night you got that scar." He touched chaims's forehead with his finger. "No one knows why, but that night he disappeared. That's why you're so famous, chaim. That's why everyone knows your name."

Tomorrow, we'll be going to Kingston Alley to get your school stuff."

"You're not going to take him anywhere!" cried a terrified Aunt fruma. "He's going to go to a normal school, and not look like one of those - those - those Chassidim."

"chaim Poterovsky's gonna go to the finest Chassidic school, with the finest Lubavitcher Headmaster there is! And you ain't gonna do nothin' to stop him! Come on chaim, let's go."

And with that, he took Hershie's hand and brought him to 770. Then they went downstiars to the coat rack.

"We'll be sleeping here tonight. Try to get a good night's sleep. You have a long day ahead of ya'."

michal took off his Talit and threw it to chaim. "Use it as a blanket. You must be freezin'."

chaim snuggled under the Talit. It was very thin, and no wonder, considering michals size. He tried to go to sleep, but he couldn't stop thinking about his parents, about United Lubavitcher Yeshiva of Gemara and Chassidus, and about what he was going to do tomorrow. Yet, slowly but surely he drifted off into the most peaceful sleep he could remember.

Finally finished. That took ages! Chapter 2: Kingston Alley will be up soon. Please review!


End file.
